Hazard Zet Forward

List of 10 items.

• 1. Be aware of your challenge and accept it.

  1. 1. Awareness: You need to be aware that you are in a difficult situation before you can act on it with deliberation. It may be difficult to be self-aware, so you need time to reflect on your situation each day. There is a snafu in this, however. People tend to be too introspective for a self-serving purpose instead of being on a “fact-finding mission.” Basically, we all need to take time to examine our satisfaction and stress in the moment without emotional judgement. We need to be aware of our challenges before we can do anything else. Research shows that people who view challenges as growth opportunities, grow – and people who are in similar challenges, but are unaware that growth is possible, do not grow as much. In fact, some of the latter group might become fearful.
     2. Acceptance: Denial does not give way to solutions. Spinning your wheels into a “Life’s not fair” mentality will not get anything accomplished. John O’Sullivan to his daughter when she claims that life isn’t fair... “You are 100% correct. Life isn’t fair. You were born in the United States. You have food and clothing. You are absolutely correct. Life is not fair. It’s in your favor.” Even IF something in your life is completely unfair, saying so doesn’t magically change the situation. Perception: Are you looking at it wisely or emotionally? Emotions are perfectly natural, but you want to consciously use rational thoughts. FINALLY: If the situation is indeed out of your control, you need to figure out how you are going to mentally accept that. In fact, research shows that there are health benefits when you VIEW STRESS AS HELPFUL.
         
        1. Awareness and Acceptance of your challenge will help you overcome fear. Don't get imprisoned by the anxiety of fear. (Incredibly important clip of Napoleon Hill.)
        2. Acceptance includes recognizing your mistakes and setbacks without judgment — seeing them as real, factual, and useful data instead of threats to your identity. (See this short video on research involving the best tennis players in the world and their view of mistakes.)
        3. Your perspective and your perception of your path is critical. (Simon Sinek on the power of your thoughts.)
        4. “Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any set of given circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl
        5. “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl
        6. “Remember, it is not the job itself that brings fulfillment, but our own mindset and attitude towards it. Find contentment and purpose in your work, no matter how menial it may seem.” Seneca the Younger
        7. "I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions." Stephen Covey
        8. "Until you view yourself as the author of your life, you will be the victim of it. You won't be a participant. You will merely be an observer of what happens to you and around you." Andy Stumpf

   

  Action Questions:

  • What specific challenges am I currently facing, and how am I acknowledging them without emotional judgment? 
  • How can I ensure that I approach my challenges with rational thoughts rather than emotional reactions? 
  • What strategies can I use to mentally accept situations that are out of my control? 

• 2. Find the growth opportunity.

  Through life’s challenges, we need to find growth. Some people try to ignore them. Some try to avoid them even when the avoidance can cause more serious issues. Some people can get through their challenges and wind up at the same baseline – but some people improve from challenges.

  1. 1. Growth is the goal. See the opportunity to improve. Challenge is the pathway to growth. (“The tougher the challenge, the greater the growth.”) Understand that challenges are what enables us to grow. See Ryan Holiday’s talk on The Obstacles is the Way.
     2. HOW to grow after adversity - The Happiness Lab Podcast with Dr. Laurie Santos.
     3. Lobsters and growth. This is Rabbi Twerski's perspective on stress, pressure, and growth. Our growth is almost always uncomfortable.
     4. "USE the difficulty." Actor, Michael Kane, describes how a simple life experience changed his perspective on difficulty.  
     5. TEACHERS and parents are incredibly critical for this “Find the growth opportunity” tactic because research shows that challenges are NOT enough to foster growth. The individual needs to SEE that the challenges can foster growth depending on how he/she approaches the challenge and if he/she views it as an opportunity. The teachers and parents need to illustrate this frequently until it becomes more and more adopted. Even though the growth process will take a long time, just teaching students that growth can come from challenges IF they embrace that reality, will unlock some students’ potential almost immediately. Therefore, parents and teachers can begin talking about this as soon as possible and they WILL make permanent and positive changes in many students right away.
     6. Someone who needs parents to solve problems and/or find shortcuts, will not have life skills. (The new Parent Handbook goes into greater detail about this.)
     7. For many students this should lead to cheating becoming personally reprehensible.
     8. Preparing for a test IS a challenge. Advanced preparation (executive function) – no different than preparing for a big game or concert performance, or musical.
     9. Navy Seals – Full Benefit: When things go bad, there can be a lesson learned and you are forced to improve. Accept the situation and use it. The Navy Seals “Flip the script” on bad situations.
     10. Cocoon Story – butterfly. (Cutting open the cocoon to “help” the butterfly, renders it useless and it can’t fly. It NEEDS the struggle of ripping out of the cocoon to build strength in its wings.)  
     11. “Everything negative - pressure, challenges - is all an opportunity for me to rise.” Kobe Bryant.
     12. “No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity, for he is not permitted to prove himself.” Seneca
     13. “Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.” Seneca
     14. “When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what the storm is all about.” Haruki Murakami
     15. “Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.” Roy T Bennett
     16. “There's always going to be a lesson to be learned from whatever it is that you're being exposed to. Things don't come up the way that you thought that they would, or some curveball comes your way, learn from it. You're either a winner, a loser, or a learner. Be a learner.” Maynard James Keenan
     17. “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.” Ernest Hemingway
     18. “Devote the rest of your life to making progress.” Epictetus
     19. "The challenge is to take difficult and painful times and turn them into something beneficial, something that makes you grow." Michelle Akers
     20. "Can you get past the things that inevitably fall your way? Will you stand up and show us what you're made of? Plenty of people have answered this question in the affirmative and a rarer breed still has shown that they not only have what it takes, but they thrive and rally at every such challenge that the challenge makes them better than if they never faced the adversity at all." Ryan Holiday
     21. “The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times. The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

   

  Action Questions:
  

  • How can I view my current challenges as opportunities for personal growth and development? 
  • What skills or qualities can I develop or strengthen through overcoming my challenges? 
  • How can I reframe my perspective to see challenges as pathways to growth rather than obstacles? 

• 3. Don't quit. GRIT > Results

  Grit is long-term intense effort, and your grit is far more important than results. You can't always control results, but you can control your grit. The results of tests, games, tryouts, productions, etc. will not have the same impact on you as your grit required to achieve them. When you have grit, you can be content with yourself because you gave your best over a long period of time. Therefore, we know that GRIT is greater than Results.
  
  Don’t give up if you know that something is humanly possible. Results ARE important, but grit is far more important, and it WILL produce results in the long run. Even though grit will not always lead to the results you want, it is a life-altering quality because you are embodying self-efficacy. When we are focused solely on results over the process (your desire to score a certain number of points in a game, earning a minimum test score, getting into a specific college, etc.), you may stunt your growth. You need to focus on your methods, your effort, and your mindset. By doing that, your results will usually follow. Focusing on a certain number of points might prevent you from developing your court-vision. Focusing on a minimum test score might lead to a lack of thorough understanding and could even lead to the temptation to cheat. Focusing on getting into a specific college is out of your hands since very competitive colleges do not reveal the “secret” to getting into their school. Therefore, you’d be placing your energy into something wildly out of your control. Any technique that provides short term gains without regard for an educable process, might derail your growth. You need to focus on the long-term process, and you will develop WHILE you also achieve many of your desired results. Your ability to focus on “the process” for long periods of time is going to pay off. (Keep in mind that breaks during that long-term effort are important for your mental and emotional well-being.) If you are unfamiliar with Angela Duckworth’s (UPenn) research on grit, please watch her short TED talk. (Note: The phrase, “EFFORT> results!” is also good but short-term effort is NOT laudable. For example, a student who applies maximum effort while taking a test is FAR from praiseworthy if he didn’t invest the appropriate time and energy into preparing for that test. That fleeting moment of intense effort is not effective or acceptable.)
  

  1. 1. Become unstoppable - especially when life is most difficult. Brian Tracy 1980.
     2. IMPORTANT one-minute post-game interview with MLB player, Jonathan India, after a grand slam.
     3. Seton Hall Prep community members can be reminded of who we are. Video of Bedros Maldjian ‘22
     4. Novak Djokovic exemplifies how giving your best is everything. 
     5. Don’t quit if something is possible. Be the iguana!
     6. Giving your best will provide you with life's satisfaction. Short video of Nick Saban
     7. Small improvements over a long period of time will result in incredible growth. Video of James Clear on Atomic Habits. The book is excellent.
     8. This Kobe Bryant perspective on failure is just as powerful. 
     9. FAILURE can teach you far more than apparent success. JK Rowling describes her experiences with failure during her Harvard Commencement Address. (This is a link directly to that portion of her speech, but listening to the whole video is worthwhile.)
     10. Kobe Bryant describes his reaction to disappointment in this interview.
     11. Denzel Washington commencement address. It touches on failure and effort. 
     12. Pushing your limits will require you to get out of your comfort zone. Doing so will lead to failures along the way. Your approach to those failures is going to determine your eventual outcome. (Adam Grant article.)
     13. Understand that growth, improvement, development, and learning are not linear pathways. Some experts say that it is more circular than it is even jagged. Cognitive scientists, Gray and Lindstedt point out that there is quite often a regression right before a great leap forward. An incredible analogy is the bicycle tire. You will be up, down, on the way up, on the way down, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes SEEMINGLY moving backward, but if you have just one calorie of energy, the BIKE is still moving forward.
     14. Listen to this very powerful podcast that encourages us to learn from failures and to use them as tools for improvement. (Hidden Brain interview with Lauren Eskreis-Winkler.)
     15. LEARN from your mistakes, disappointments, and failures. Learning from them is going to be invaluable for your growth. See this short presentation: HZF Reacting to Mistakes Failure and Disappointment.pptx Failures and mistakes will happen, and you need to find pride in your grit, especially when results are less than what you expect. (Failure is the lack of achieving your goal.) Of course, failure can sting because we want to feel competent, but failure can enable us to see opportunity and growth. People often look at failure as an attack on their ego, but they need to subdue their ego and separate themselves from the issue to see it objectively. When you LEARN from your mistakes and failures, you are making yourself resilient, BUT that is only part of the benefit; you are making yourself better as you gain knowledge from those mistakes and failures. Research shows that experts are better at handling failures because they are obsessed with learning about their field and failures shed light on something new. Therefore, their failures are educational moments. Rookies are vulnerable, however. They begin a new field with trepidation, and as soon as they meet their first failure, they are convinced that the new field is not for them. They convince themselves that they were right – that they made a mistake by entering the new field. As you continue to grow from mistakes and experiences, you need to be patient with yourself and have full respect for what you are doing and who you are becoming. You are on a journey, and you need to try to love that person. You never truly fail if you learn something. So simple: It is impossible to become resilient if you DO NOT FAIL since you cannot learn to deal with challenges or disappointment. We are all impressed by people who stumble/fail, but continue to get up and succeed, but determination is only part of the equation – the LEARNING process from failing is critical. NOTE: You will encounter failures that are so incredibly unpredictable that learning from them is almost impossible. In those situations, you need to figure out how that failure will strengthen you since other unpredictable failures WILL happen in your life. You need to use those moments to figure out how to come to terms with inevitable failures and misfortune. Just as important to understand is that research indicates that success is blinding. It covers up flaws (Example: winning a game in which you played poorly).
     16. See the image of unsuccessful people compared to successful people here, but there is a Seton Hall Prep version that is better. Joseph Chie's artwork details two perspectives on failure – one as being defeated by it, and one is using it as a tool for success. Joseph’s artwork has a theme similar to this Michael Jordan video.
     17. We all have flaws and cracks. Can you use Kintsugi, the ancient Japanese restorative art, as a metaphor for your own life? 
     18. “A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits.” Epictetus
     19. "Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
     20. "Hard work may not guarantee success, but it always ensures progress. And progress is the key - you have to keep moving forward." Sir Alex Ferguson
     21. “Do not fear failure. It is not failure, but low aim, that is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” Bruce Lee
     22. "Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill
     23. “Get back up when you fail. Celebrate behaving like a human.” Marcus Aurelius
     24. “Life is a struggle and the potential for failure is ever present, but those who live in fear of failure, or hardship, or embarrassment will never achieve their potential. Without pushing your limits, without occasionally sliding down the rope headfirst, without daring greatly, you will never know what is truly possible in your life.” William H. McRaven
     25. “Every obstacle is an opportunity to test your commitment to your own excellence. Success will depend on the choice you make in those more challenging moments, when it's easier to regress; to give up on what you know is the right choice. These are the moments that define us.” Mark Bennett
     26. “The true person is revealed in difficult times.” Epictetus
     27. “Falling down is not failure. Failure comes when you stay where you have fallen.” Socrates
     28. “You cannot wish for both a strong character and an easy life. The price of each is the other.” Ancient proverb
     29. "A person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new." Albert Einstein
     30. “Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.” Mary Tyler Moore
     31. “You either win or you learn.” Jalen Hurts
     32. “Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.” Alexis Carrell

   

  Action Questions:

  • What motivates me to persevere through difficult times, even when the results may not be immediate? 
  • How can I maintain focus on the process and long-term effort rather than solely on achieving specific results? 
  • Failures, mistakes, and disappointments are inevitable. What will I do with these to develop, learn, and improve from them? 

• 4. Raise your expectations of yourself & do very hard things.

  Most things that are worthwhile are difficult. Stop looking at yourself as having a fixed set of skills that cannot improve. Have faith in your determination and accept that your solution will be arduous. You need to use your mind to unlock your potential, and you need to use your mind to push yourself far beyond what you have expected of yourself. 
  
  Dr. Marty Seligman's interview on the Happiness Lab podcast is one of the most important resources on our entire site. It encourages people to work on becoming someone who is more optimistic. He simply describes an optimistic person who feels that they have a higher level of self-efficacy in life. His research shows that people who are normally defeated by challenges in life, can slowly change to becoming more effective - and eventually become more content with their lives.
  
  

  1. 1. Please see this video about stretching yourself. “Handle Hard Better” Kara Lawson
     2. Fear is crippling, but you can overcome fear by doing hard things. (Napoleon Hill)
     3. SHORT clip connecting athletics and fitness to the mind. If you find this clip thought-provoking, you will find great value in the podcast in the next bullet point. 
     4. Invaluable podcast from the Learner Lab regarding the critical nature of struggle when you are out of your comfort zone. 
     5. Dr. Andrew Huberman on the importance of doing hard things and putting in effort. 
     6. "You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments." Roger Federer. Here is his 2024 Commencement Address at Dartmouth that went viral.
     7. “Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship.” Video of Denzel Washington
     8. Laziness might just be due to focusing on the wrong things. Short video example.
     9. You cannot accept a fixed mindset for your situation. You need to accept the fact that you are frequently going to be uncomfortable since you will be in the constant state of stretching yourself. “Be comfortable being uncomfortable.”
     10. “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
         Jesus (Luke 12:48)
     11. "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't — you're right." Henry Ford
     12. "Running away from your problems is a race you'll never win." Ben Francia

   

  Action Questions:

  • How can I challenge myself to raise my expectations and tackle difficult tasks? 
  • In what ways can I push beyond my comfort zone and embrace discomfort as a catalyst for growth? 
  • What mindset shifts can I make to view challenges as opportunities for personal development? 

• 5. Learn with passion and determination.

  There is a massive difference between active learning and passive “listening.” We all understand what it is like to passively hear something and how vastly different that is than to invest deliberate effort and focused energy into our learning process. People who do the latter are the ones who determine their own future. No matter how excellent a teacher, coach, parent, friend, etc. might be at educating, your learning does not take place properly without your intense focus, effort, passion, and determination.  
  
  When you have a challenging situation that requires learning think about the advice from Dr. Jordan Peterson: "If someone you loved were in this situation, what advice would you give him/her?" It is VERY important to give yourself advice, but it’s perfectly Ok to ask for direction, like speaking to a teacher about how to study more effectively, doing research on your challenge, talking to a loved one you trust. (Based on several years of graduate surveys, a common attribute that our recent grads celebrate is their confidence and willingness to interact with college professors. This has enabled them to flourish in their classes and develop meaningful relationships.)
  

  
  

  1. 1. Be careful about thinking you already have ALL the answers. You need to keep your ego in check while you search for solutions. “You cannot learn that which you think you already know.” Epictetus. “The Ego is the Enemy.” Ryan Holiday
     2. Short video: Learning will not be easy. Are you willing to be uncomfortable?
     3. Your determination to learn needs to navigate change. Embrace the changes. (Glen Powell on what to do when plans change.)
     4. “If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid.” Epictetus
     5. "Success is where preparation and opportunity meet." Bobby Unser
     6. “No matter how hard you train, Somebody will train harder. No matter how much you want it, Somebody will want it more. I am Somebody!” Steve Prefontaine
     7. "If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you." Zig Ziglar

   

  Action Questions:

  • How can I approach learning from my challenges with enthusiasm and dedication? 
  • What steps can I take to seek advice and guidance while also maintaining humility in my learning process? 
  • How can I balance confidence in my abilities with openness to new ideas and perspectives? 

• 6. Control the controllables.

  “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together” Vincent Van Gogh. Once you figure out what is in your control, attack what you have “learned with passion and determination.” Some challenges are daunting and stressful. This can lead to an unhealthy level of anxiety and that anxiety might paralyze some people. Don’t let your overwhelming situation rule your thoughts. Figure out what you CAN control, and begin with that. Then keep attacking things that you CAN control. Put “uncontrollables” (like the past) aside so you can focus on the task at hand. Then OWN the controllables. Keep in mind that even when you do not have a large objective, many people get a sense of control and decreased anxiety when they complete small tasks that they know they can control. These tasks might not even be directly related to the anxiety you are experiencing but completing them builds your self-efficacy back up. Additionally, there are probably tasks that you can control that at first you believe that you can’t. Important contribution from the Dean of Men: Once our students realize that their response to certain events can change the outcomes, they will realize they have more ownership in their life.
  
  Simply put, you need to have self-control. (See what this Navy Seal has to say about losing your temper.) This does not mean that you need to SUPRESS your emotions and desires. You can acknowledge your emotions, but you cannot allow them to dictate your actions or overwhelm your rational thinking. (Stoic philosophy). Make sure that you can adapt and be flexible if needed.
  
  Be careful. Your self-talk determines most of your destiny. YOU control your thoughts and therefore, when you are hit with disappointment, you need to start by controlling your thoughts - and then immediately begin controlling tasks. You will suffer far less if you quickly control your thoughts - and you will move forward if you quickly take action.
  

  1. 1. Inaction will result in stress, but taking small actions alleviates anxiety. Jeff Bezos talks about how important small actions are in his life in this short clip.
     2. If you are paralyzed by anxiety (or even slowed down by too much going on at once), watch this Ryan Holiday clip for some concrete advice.
     3. Don't allow other people's opinions of you to make you anxious. This link takes you to part of an interview with Jerry Seinfeld in which he describes how useless that anxiety is, but the entire interview is excellent. 
     4. No matter how overwhelmed you are by your situation, just get started. Ryan Holiday clip.
     5. Short clip of Novak Djokovic talking about how mental strength is NOT a gift, but something that is difficult to maintain. 
     6. Here is a short clip of Kobe Bryant and dealing with your emotions in stressful situations.
     7. Jahdae Barron at the 2025 NFL Combine. Control your effort and don't get emotionally attached to the result. 
     8. Dartmouth’s Dr. Stephen Gonzalez: Letting go of mistakes.
     9. Just take a step. Short clip of former firefighter, Ricky Nuttall, with advice on how to overcome overthinking.
     10. As soon as you falter or as soon as life hits you hard, you need to consider the "next play" mentality.
         1. Jay Wright describing Mikal Bridges.
         2. Brad Stevens: Success occurs in the small steps you take. 
         3. Don't let mistakes compound themselves. After a mistake, "stop the bleeding to reset."
     11. "The most difficult thing is the decision to act; the rest is merely tenacity." Amelia Earhart
     12. "1% beats 0%. Can't clean up the whole room? Clean a corner of it. Can't do all the dishes? Do a dish. Can't get in the shower? Wash your face. Always look for the thing you CAN do, with the energy and focus you DO have. Little wins pave the way for bigger wins. 1% beats 0%." Dr. Glenn Doyle
     13. "You have to assemble your life yourself — action by action. And be satisfied if each one achieves its goal, as far as it can. No one can keep that from happening." Marcus Aurelius
     14. "Overthinking is the biggest waste of human energy. Trust yourself, make a decision, and gain more experience. There is no such thing as perfect. You cannot think your way into perfection - just take action." Sylvester McNutt III
     15. "The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails." William Arthur Ward
     16. “Anxiety is the greatest evil that can befall a soul except sin. God commands you to pray, but He forbids you to worry." Saint Francis de Sales.
     17. “One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm. Calm is a superpower.” Bruce Lee
     18. This tactic might take reflection, meditation, or prayer. “The mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.” Seneca.
     19. "The most glorious works of grace that have ever took place, have been brought about by prayer; the most satisfactory and reasonable consolations of human life, have been obtained by prayer." St. Elizabeth Ann Seton
     20. “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength. Marcus Aurelius
     21. "Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't." Steve Maraboli
     22. "Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." John Wooden
     23. "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." William James
     24. "The best way to predict the future is to create it." Peter Drucker
     25. WHILE YOU ARE WORKING ON YOUR GOAL, BE SURE TO KEEP YOU MIND GLUED TO WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN, NOT WHAT YOU ARE FEARFUL OF HAPPENING. "The mind is everything. What you think, you become." Buddha.
     26. “It is your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.” Dieter F Uchtdorf

   

  Action Questions:

  • What aspects of my current situation are within my control, and how can I focus my energy on managing them? 
  • If I am negative about a challenge at hand, how can I rephrase this opportunity in a positive way?
  • What strategies can I use to maintain a sense of calm and perspective when facing challenges? 

• 7. “Forge” your brain.

  FORGE: to form or make, especially by concentrated effort.
  FORGE: to form by heating and hammering; beat into shape.
  
  You WILL change the neural network of your brain as you respond to your life’s experiences. As you learn new things (especially with repetition), your brain will grow and reorganize itself accordingly. Teachers/parents need to teach neuroplasticity and students need to embrace it. We know that people become their habits, but students need to understand that habits will become more efficient due to anatomical changes in the brain as learning and habit-forming take place. The more that students embrace obstacles/hurdles, the more they will be prepared for it in the future. This is because practicing “Hazard Zet Forward” will physiologically change their brains to be able to handle challenges better over time. 
  

  1. 1. Neuroplasticity Explained: The Brain Centre
     2. What is neuroplasticity? Dr. Andrew Huberman Video
     3. The "growth mindset" should be your reality since neuroplasticity is real. Check out this powerful Learner Lab podcast on the growth mindset and the connection to neuroplasticity. Accepting this should make people incredibly optimistic about learning almost anything. 
     4. You are constantly reshaping your brain. BBC Video.
     5. Video: Understanding your brain so you can study/learn more effectively. 
     6. Article: A Stanford neuroscientist provides a tip for individuals and organizations to enhance their neuroplasticity. 

   

  Action Questions:

  • How can the difficult task at hand contribute to the reorganization of my brain positively and enhance my ability to handle challenges in the future? 
  • What specific habits am I working on to promote neuroplasticity and cognitive growth? 
  • How can I incorporate mindfulness, reflection, or meditation into my daily routine to support brain development? 

• 8. Prove your excuses wrong.

  Excuses are like the singing Sirens in Greek mythology. They are alluring and lethal. They will prevent your success. You absolutely must figure out what your excuses are and compete with them. Prove that you can outduel them. Excuses can thwart potential accomplishments both large and small, but they can also place a ceiling on your confidence because they momentarily enable you to avoid a challenge. Because your reaction to challenges provides you with your self-efficacy, your excuses can negatively impact your confidence. Please see these two separate articles from Psychology today about confidence and the importance of avoiding excuses.
  

  1. 1. ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT VIDEOS ON OUR ENTIRE WEBSITE IS THIS ONE OF BRIAN TRACY.
     2. Life isn’t fair and it’s not going to be. Matthew McConaughey Video
     3. Believing that someone ELSE is naturally talented at something is your own excuse for not having that talent. (Ryan Holiday explains.)
     4. When you are faced with the challenge of learning something that is particularly difficult, you need to understand that your ability to learn a certain field was not a result of your genetic code. Listen to this podcast from the Coaching Manual.
     5. Do not let OTHERS trigger you. You are the boss of yourself. -One minute from Tony Robbins
     6. Listen to Tom Brady talk about how personal responsibility is far more important than your circumstances. 
     7. Gino Auriemma shares his thoughts on excuses and their prevention of growth. 
     8. “Do not be overheard complaining, not even to yourself.” Marcus Aurelius
     9. “Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” George Washington Carver
     10. The person who is good at making an excuse, is seldom good at anything else. Benjamin Franklin
     11. “I have nothing in common with lazy people who blame others for their lack of success. Great things come from hard work and perseverance. NO EXCUSES. Dedication sees dreams come true.” Kobe Bryant
     12. “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” Marcus Aurelius
     13. “Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining.” Teddy Roosevelt.
     14. “When things go bad, look inward first; don’t blame outward.” Kevin Eastman
     15. "The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today." Franklin D. Roosevelt.
     16. “Champions never complain. They are too busy getting better.” John Wooden
     17. "I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse." Florence Nightingale

   

  Action Questions:

  • What excuses am I making that may be hindering my progress, and how can I challenge and overcome them? 
  • How can I shift from a mindset of making excuses to one of taking responsibility for my actions and choices? 
  • What are a few excuses that I have for my challenge that I might be able to overcome? 

• 9. Celebrate your accomplishments, including the small ones.

  Celebrate YOUR accomplishments INCLUDING the small ones and remind yourself that giving your best IS an accomplishment. Of course, this is an intrapersonal conversation, but it is healthy and empowering. We know that the Seton Hall Prep experience will provide many challenges, and by the end of the 4 years, each student will have a wealth of hurdles that he HAS overcome. You need to learn to recall those personal success stories and use them as you prepare for future challenges. It is important that you build your confidence through your previous accomplishments, WHILE disallowing yourself from building up your ego, since the ego can stall your learning. (If you think you have the answers, you will thwart your own improvement.) This article from Psychology Today illustrates how accomplishing tasks and overcoming challenges will build your confidence. 
  

  1. 1. HOW TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: This podcast from the Hidden Brain is invaluable for those who need the confidence to confront obstacles.
     2. Your body language communicates to your mind just like it communicates to others. This video is incredibly important.
     3. Look at your accomplishments through John Wooden's definition of success. "Success is peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you're capable." 
     4. “Strength is found in facing challenges with unwavering courage, learning from them to forge resilience.” Marcus Aurelius
     5. "The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you." William Jennings Bryan
     6. "You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you." Brian Tracy
     7. "Celebrate what you've accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed." Mia Hamm
     8. "Take pride in how far you've come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don't forget to enjoy the journey." Michael Josephson
     9. "Acknowledge all of your small victories. They will eventually add up to something great." Kara Goucher
     10. "Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it." Maya Angelou
     11. "Treasure this day and treasure yourself, truly, neither will ever happen again." Ray Bradbury

   

  Action Questions:

  • What small victories or achievements have I made recently, and how can I celebrate and acknowledge them? 
  • How can I use past successes as motivation and confidence boosters when facing new challenges? 
  • What rituals or practices can I implement to regularly acknowledge and appreciate my progress? 

• 10. Find a role model and be one.

  Surround yourself with people who empower you, but you need to embrace the awkwardness and challenges of being a person who behaves with integrity. This one is general and helps you in the long run, but might not always be a Hazard Zet Forward tip for an immediate solution. Avoid people who are negative. Avoid people who enable you to find excuses or an easy way out. (It is far easier for adults to avoid specific people, but it's not as easy for students since friends are seemingly “locked into” their friend groups/lunch tables for longer periods of time.) It is also incredibly beneficial to give advice or help someone because this immediately builds your own confidence and self-efficacy. In fact, research has shown that your relationships are what provide the most meaning and enjoyment in life.  

   

   

  Hold yourself accountable for your actions. Responsibility builds pride and self-worth. Those who are not responsible for their actions or allow others to act on their behalf have a decreased sense of value.  
   
   
  Additionally, we all need to do all things with integrity because when you continually do things that compromise integrity, you get depressed and lack a feeling of self-worth – and quite often you don’t know why you are melancholy. Additionally, if you can get OTHERS to raise their standards, you will have true purpose and meaning.   

  1. Choose your friends carefully! Short video with James Clear.   

  2. Choose your friends carefully! Slightly more in-depth video with James Clear.   

  3. In the Navy Seals, being a trustworthy person is more valuable than your proficiency and expertise in battle. Short Simon Sinek video clip.     

  4. You will be more successful (or less successful) based on your close relationships.  

  5. Your impact on others is often immeasurable, substantial, and often latent. (Powerful Ted Ed video)     

  6. Nick Saban on being a leader and setting a good example.     

  7. James Kerr on the All Blacks and CHARACTER: Four-minute video.     

  8. James Kerr on the All Blacks: Longer video on sustainable success.     

  9. Morgan Freeman: Courage is the key to life.     

  10. You do NOT have to be in a position of authority to be a leader. (Short interview with Simon Sinek on leadership.)  

  11. Leadership can be learned, and Simon Sinek points to three traits to practice.   

  12. If you are friends with people who degrade your character, get new ones. They will take you down a path that will lead to despair.     

  13. “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” Jesus (John 13:14–15)    

  14. “The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.” Rita Mae Brown     

  15. “Tell me who you spend time with, and I will tell you who you are.” Goethe     

  16. "If you have some power, it is your job to empower somebody else.” Toni Morrison     

  17. “Happy is the man who can make others better, not merely when he is in their company, but when he is in their thoughts.” Seneca the Younger     

  18. “Associate with people who are likely to improve you.” Seneca     

  19. “It’s better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you’re not.” Kurt Cobain     

  20. “Rather fail with honor than succeed with fraud.” Sophocles  

  21. “It is wrong and immoral to seek to escape the consequences of one’s acts.” Mahatma Gandhi    

  22. “If you dwell with a lame man, you will learn how to limp.” Ancient proverb  

    

  Action Questions 

  • Who are the role models in my life that inspire and empower me, and how can I learn from their examples?  

  • In what ways can I become a role model for others by embodying qualities such as resilience, determination, and integrity?  

  • How can I surround myself with individuals who support and encourage my growth, while also being mindful of my own influence on others?